Unfortunately, there is often not any way to predict how long a marital or trial separation will last. Most couples leave the time frame open-ended because they have no idea how they are going to feel while apart from each other. Most are waiting to see what will happen and what changes in perception might take place. This can be frustrating when you really want to reconcile as soon as possible. Plus, it can feel like the longer you are separated, the less chance you have for a reconciliation. People can start to panic with each week and then month that passes.
I hear from some folks who have a certain time frame in their head where they'll assume that they've reached the point of no return. A common example is six months. You may hear from someone who says: "I never in my wildest dreams would have guessed that we would still be separated after half a year. my decision is that my husband would soon see that being separated is not a picnic. attempts to reconcile. It is going on six months now. We speak semi-regularly. We are cordial. Neither of us is seeing anyone else. my friends say that it has just been too long to believe that my husband will ever come back. Are they right? Does it get to the point where too much time has passed during the separation? "
Why The Circumstances Matter : In my opinion, your friends might have a more valid point if you were not in contact with your husband at all. When contact is very limited, that can be more of a concern because in order to reconcile, you need to be in contact. However, in this case, regular communication is still taking place. My separation felt pretty lengthy to me. In fact, many of my friends had the same concerns – that it had dragged on to the point where I needed to just give it up. And yet, I'm still married today. I think that part of the delay was due to the fact that I tried to pressure and push my husband before he was ready, so he resisted me. But I'm not the only person I know who was separated for a while and then ever got back together.
What Contributes To A Longer Time Frame : There are many valid reasons that the separation can take so long. People want to give them enough time to see how they are feeling. They do not want to rush into a decision as serious as a divorce or reconciliation. If they are in counseling, they want to give it time to work. A longer separation does not necessarily mean that no one is interested in ever reconciling.
With that said, it never hurts to look around and see if you are doing anything that might be delaying your chance at a reconciliation. Sometimes, the very things that you think are helping might actually be hurting. In my case, I thought that being in constant contact and repeatedly pressuring my husband to come back was going to bring about a faster reconciliation, but this only turned my husband off and delayed any progress. So, ask yourself if there's any issue that might be the fly in the ointment. Because sometimes, by taking an honest look at things, you can make an adjustment that will change everything.
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Source by Leslie Cane